Conflict resolution for young children: modelling respectful problem-solving skills

Marianna Khachatryan
2 days ago
3 min read

In the dynamic environment of a Montessori classroom, conflicts among young children are natural occurrences. These moments present valuable opportunities for learning and growth. Maria Montessori believed in fostering independent thinking and empathy among children. By modelling respectful problem-solving skills, educators can guide children ages 3-6 in resolving their conflicts gracefully.

Conflict among young children often arises due to differences in perspective, misunderstanding of social cues, or competition over resources. In a Montessori setting, the aim is not just to resolve conflicts but to empower children with skills to manage them effectively by themselves.

Montessori's view of the child

Maria Montessori believed that children are inherently capable and driven toward social cooperation when supported by a prepared environment and respectful adults. Rather than imposing solutions, Montessori educators observe and guide children toward resolving conflicts independently. This approach nurtures autonomy and helps children develop inner discipline rather than relying on external control. Adults play a crucial role in conflict resolution through modelling. Children learn far more from what adults do than what they say. In Montessori settings, adults strive to speak calmly, get down to the child’s eye level, listen without judgment, and use simple, clear language. For example, instead of saying ‘’stop fighting’’ an adult may say ‘’ I see two children who both want the same work. Let’s find a solution.’’ This models respectful communication and reframes conflict as a shared problem to solve.

Montessori Strategies for Conflict Resolution

1. Observation - Before intervening, a Montessori educator observes the situation. Observation allows the adult to understand the root cause of the conflict without imposing preconceived notions. This aligns with the Montessori principle of fostering independence, where children are encouraged to attempt resolving issues on their own.

2. Acknowledgement - If intervention is needed, the adult acknowledges each child’s feelings without assigning blame: ‘’ You are upset because you were using the blocks, and you are upset because you want them’’

3. Peace Corner

A dedicated "Peace Corner" is a calm space where children can go to reflect and discuss their feelings. It encourages self-regulation and communication, allowing children to approach conflict with a sense of calm.

The Peace Corner can include calming resources like books, sensorial activities, or artwork. When conflicts arise, children can be guided to this area to talk about their feelings.

4. Use of Grace and Courtesy

Grace and Courtesy encouragement in Montessori schools teaches children social skills, including polite expressions, sharing, taking turns, and expressing emotions appropriately. These lessons are foundational in providing children with the vocabulary and empathy skills needed to resolve conflicts.

Activity: Role-playing scenarios where children practice saying “please,” “thank you,” or “I feel” statements during conflicts enhances their ability to articulate emotions.

5. Problem Solving with Montessori Materials

Utilising Montessori materials to practice problem-solving can be effective too. Children can engage in activities that require cooperation, promoting communication and teamwork.

Activity: Collaborative tasks such as building a tower with blocks or completing a puzzle together encourage children to discuss strategies and share roles.

Conclusion

Teaching conflict resolution within the Montessori framework empowers young children to handle interpersonal challenges with empathy and respect. These skills, instilled early, serve as a foundation for their emotional and social development.

By using structured yet flexible approaches, such as the Peace Corner and the principles of Grace and Courtesy, children learn important life skills that continue to influence their development. Montessori's approach not only resolves conflicts but also nurtures a community where children grow with confidence and empathy.